To quote my uncle Sterling Ottesen, "I decided long ago that I would be happy." And that is all there is to it- I've made that decision also, so when days come that brandish one helpless, there is a reserve of strength created from previous decisions.
So when last week I blew out my knee, had my thesis experiments go awry, started missing my vacation in Nauvoo, and had a job offer rescinded- I tabloided patience. My virtues seemed to diminish under frustration.
After some thoughtful consideration of personal self control, I decided it was time to recommit to my determination over the out-of-my-control and 'unconquerable' frustrations. Ironically I read an interesting blog article documenting the following: If you were to take the negative thoughts, feelings, opinions, frustrations, the unhealthy obsessions or addictions from your mind, and personify them in a friend standing next to you, you'd never want to hang out with that friend. You'd never invite them to chat, call up for a spontaneous lunch, or go on a date. You'd shun the negativity of that person for the value that they bring: nothing.
Bolstered with my determination and thoughts about what really was going on in my mind, I decided to be happy despite my circumstances. I could do it!
My auto-induced happy streak lasted for about three hours until I wanted to break down again- and I did just that. I prayed and asked for something to show me that God cared. We all do it- the faithless remarks shotputted toward heaven in a hopeless display of faith: our last 'give it a chance.'
Well, within ten minutes I heard from the head media contact of Real Salt Lake inviting me to take pictures at their upcoming game- I'd been praying for this assignment for two weeks. And it came. Like a quick chastisement of embarrassment, I was on my knees for gratitude.
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