O. Henry: A Quote on the Overweight Life

O. Henry, Cover photo from Selected Stories of O. Henry

I spent some time last night engrossed in reading selections from Selected Stories of O. Henry, a Barnes and Noble Classic (did I mention it was at 2am on my Friday night?).

From his story the Skylight Room comes the following quote.  When I read it, I laughed deliriously, rolled onto my back, and laughed some more.  I guess some principles never die... or grow old.

It speaks to the fatness of Mr. Hoover, an unlikely and unwitty suitor to an uninterested young lady.

Tune the pipes to the tragedy of tallow, the bane of bulk, the calamity of corpulence.  Tried out Falstaff might have rendered more romance to the ton than would have Romeo's rickety ribs to the ounce.  A lover may sigh, but he must not puff.  To the train of Romus [a Greek God of mockery] are the fat men remanded.  In vain beats the faithfullest heart above a 52-inch belt.

Having written this I feel somewhat guilty, if a person of larger corpulence may encounter it.  I don't believe the philosophy, but the verbiage and composition are too delicious to deter from sharing.